Dating a newly divorced
Finally, after two years of dating, our wedding night came.
Of course by now, I'd sort of lost the anticipation. While he was getting ready for bed, I put on a transparent white nightgown my mother bought me for my big night.
A five-year marriage with no sex: the true story of a divorced virgin.
I was 29, single again after a five-year marriage, and a virgin.
I began thinking, in my obsessive way, maybe I was just too small.
Maybe I had some impenetrable vagina that only the strongest, hardest penis could penetrate.
And after so many tries with Michael, I knew we just weren't meant to be.
He cried horribly when I told him it was over, but he also didn't seem surprised.
But making out with Mike always felt so mechanical.
And I just kept thinking: what was a great sexual relationship in comparison to all this?
It seemed so shallow of me to dump someone who had become my best friend just because he couldn't get me off without a world atlas.
Maybe my hymen was like a personal Great Wall of China.
But really, between his giant penis, his premature ejaculation problem and my tight-as-a-virgin-because-I-was-a-virgin problem, well, the whole thing was pretty much doomed. We had tried couples counseling and everything else: lingerie, candles, massage oil. I would have thought I was hopelessly frigid, except right around the time we started counseling, I started spending time with an old friend, Sam.
I certainly wasn't going to do it with some guy who was going away to college in a few weeks, and I wasn't going to lose it in his dad's beat-up Ford Escort.