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I assume that part of their eagerness had something to do with the potential sartorial opportunities, because they spared no time before delving into an outfit-planning discussion worthy of a Kardashian stylist.Tight black gear was pulled out of the backs of closets, Louboutins were dusted off after years of hiatus..Suddenly, we were 23 again, getting ready for a night of endless opportunities!Twenty scrolls deep into Lena Perminova’s Instagram, I decided that, no matter what happened, I would go for a Power Barbie look that involved a very short skirt paired with a boxy blazer A tad on the risqué side but still in charge, Then Monday came along, bringing on a 80-degree heat wave that forced me to rethink my strategy.No, it is simply that Russian guys and myself rarely cross paths, for most of them prefer adult restaurants in favor of hipster joints and stay as far from my beloved Nolita as possible.And so, I decided to ask for a little bit of help from my friends. Immediately, I knew that my investigation was over.I asked for three Moscow mules and a plate of pickled vegetables, the least sexy food on the menu that tasted like heaven and constituted as the best ten minutes of the evening.
This is in no way an act of rebellion – trust me, there is nothing I would love more than to bring home a man who would be able to deliberate the (grim) future of Putin’s reign at a Khorosh family dinner.While, aesthetically, nothing about my so-called outfit made sense, something told me I was on the right path.Speaking of excess, my makeup took about an hour more than usual, mainly due to the globs of foundation required to reach that laminated look popularized by the K-clan.My friend came over with a huge Chanel Boy bag in tow.
Sensing that this was the piece of the puzzle I had been missing all along, I bribed her into lending it to me.It was like the Russian Man Whisperer had descended from the sky and awarded me with the Ten Commandments of seducing Slavic gentlemen.