Dating success stories
Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.“When [I was] dating non-Asians, sometimes they were interested in exotic factors that I’m not a white guy,” he said.Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.He wrote down his height (6 feet), listed his interests (podcasts, basketball, reading) and included photos of himself outdoors.But when Montecillo reached the section that asked for his ethnicity, he hesitated.Montecillo, whose parents are Filipino, was born in New York and spent 13 years living in Hong Kong.“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.
But after a friend urged Jiang, a 27-year-old native of China, to give Maltempo a chance, she realized that unlike some other people she was talking to, there was substance behind Maltempo’s messages.
“Maybe they’d talk about how they’re really into anime, manga or ‘Have you seen that scary Japanese or Korean movie?
’ The media interests rather than culture interests made it kind of shallow.” The bias Asian men encounter in dating bleeds into other parts of their lives as well.
“It makes it seem like there’s a dialogue going on from the very beginning,” he said.
“Dialogue rather than just messaging.” At first, Maltempo’s wife, Xue Jiang, was unimpressed by his messages. The TV shows “Master of None” and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” for example, stand out for pairing Asian men with white women.