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At least on dating sites you get to know a little about people before dismissing them. How about specialized romance sites—JDate.com, Widows Match.com, Love Me Love My Pets.com—helpful or hurtful? It’s the real-life equivalent of forgoing the bar or the coffee shop to troll for dates at a Welsh Corgi lovers convention or a Renaissance faire.In person, a glance can be all it takes to make a judgment. Fine, but as far as judgments go, I think the online handicap and the real-life handicap are about the same. I’m just saying if the book looks like it plays soccer on the weekends and can fill out a pair of vintage Levi’s with a slight 1970s cut, it’s probably the kind of book I’m looking for. On the flip side, if you have a particular interest or aspect of your identity—one that’s so important that you can’t imagine any potential partner not sharing it—then by all means. I can’t guarantee that you’re not missing out on the love of your life because he or she is on a more mainstream site, but I can’t guarantee a mainstream site user that the love of their life isn’t on Manic Depressive And Inthe Mood.com, either.
Daniel Jones edits the “Modern Love” column in the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times. I’m just saying if the book looks like it plays soccer on the weekends, it’s probably the kind of book I’m looking for.
They have a chance of meeting partners whom they could never meet at church, in bars, or as “friends of a friend.” The more dismal the singles scene in their community, the more motivated people will be to try computer matching. On sites like Craigslist, people drift from looking for an apartment to looking for a sex partner for the night with a few clicks of the mouse.
People who live in suburban or rural areas, those who are over 30, those who are very religious and in a religious minority, those who are part of a racial or ethnic minority in their community, and those with special needs or disabilities are likely to turn to the web to find suitable mates because of the difficulty of finding a partner in the more traditional ways. It’s one-stop shopping, and what’s the harm in looking?
For example, [before meeting my fiancé] I did not respond to men who said they had a good sense of humor.
Someone with a good sense of humor would just put down something funny.Depending on where you hear it, online dating is fundamentally changing the way humans hook up, or it’s only a slight variation on the church social.